Monday, January 7, 2013

More on Type and Emotion

More and more, I understand the explanation that "feeling types aren't more emotional than thinking types to mean a few things:

(1)Both types are equally prone to being emotional however...
(2)Feeling types are more aware of others' feelings because...
(3)They are more aware of their own emotions.



I've lost track of how many times I've seen thinking types clearly upset about something, particularly something involving another person--such as being slighted, insulted, hurt or rejected--while fervently denying it. This ranges from complaining openly about the other person, visibly sulking or shouting that they aren't upset. To be fair, some thinking types may not be aware of it. Just as they tend to miss the subtle emotional cues from others, they tend to tune out the information their own emotions are telling them. Perhaps they just don't want to talk about it, or perhaps they don't think it's worth dwelling on, or maybe they just aren't as aware of their feelings. Others, however, get the message quite clearly. (Especially feeling types.)

Feeling types, by contrast, are both aware of their own feelings and that of others. They may try to address the issue with the other person and resolve it. They may do this because they notice the other person is upset, or they may do it because they, themselves, are upset, and hope talking about it will alleviate the situation. Or, they may be uncomfortable bringing it up but will usually make it clear that the other party has hurt them in some way. This can range from obvious awkward discomfort to gossip and, in some extreme cases, ostracizing. However, the feeling type always knows they're upset, and if they don't express it to you (either directly or indirectly) will at least express it to a close confidante. They do, however, usually want to talk about it.

So, while you can see that both types are emotional, the statement "Feeling types aren't more emotional than Thinking types" can be misleading, or at least unhelpful. The reason it's unhelpful is that if you're seeking to type yourself, you may conclude the extent to which you see yourself as emotional is irrelevant. It's not. The extent to which others see you as emotional may be irrelevant (after all, INFPs can seem very unemotional to others but still feel that way inside) but the extent to which you see yourself as emotional and the extent to which you notice and are concerned with others' emotions can say quite a bit.

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